Tag Archives: scary

smokey is a cylon

august 007



a tire almost fell off my car on the way back to virginia from massachusetts.
I thought perhaps the thud thud thud sound coming from the back of the car was the pavement itself?
perhaps it was all the shit in the car that hadn’t been there on the trip up?
perhaps there was someone in the trunk, trying to get out?
surprisingly, no.
then what was the mysterious, and increasingly louder thudding sound that plagued my every thought as we traveled down the new york thruway and into the garden state?

thankfully, a crusty old mechanic at the last rest stop in new jersey noticed the problem by the soft glow of his flashlight and tightened up my loose lugnuts that were barely holding the tire on anymore. he then continued to stare at me with incredulity, seemingly in disbelief that I would not have noticed my loose lugnuts.

moral of the story:

if you tried to steal my tire, I will kill you.


spontaneous combustion

“what would happen if you melted? you know, you never really hear this talked about much, but spontaneous combustion? it exists!…[people] burn from within…sometimes they’ll be in a wooden chair and the chair won’t burn, but there’ll be nothing left of the person. except sometimes his teeth. or the heart. no one speaks about this, but it’s for real.” –keanu reeves

it's for real.

it's for real.

is it, keanu? is it?