Tag Archives: clothing

best amazon reviews ever.

“Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.”
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more hilarious reviews here.

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my arms are so short

the tyrannosaurus rex and I have the same problem when looking for sweaters.

the tyrannosaurus rex and I have the same problem when looking for sweaters.

I would like a new sweater. so, being on fall break and reluctant to do any work that I don’t want to do yet, I’ve been spending a lot of time at the outlets and cheap clothing places here in williamsburg, trolling through rack after rack of hideous clothing. just to find a sweater. about halfway through my adventure today at tj maxx, I found a really nice one. at first, I pushed her aside, thinking “oh no liz, that’s just not you. you’re not that stylish. you’d just look foolish wearing that one oh, how people would stare!” I buried her among the other less worthy sweaters, hoping that she wouldn’t catch my eye again with her sweatery loveliness. but she did. so I tried her on.

reader, the sleeves were a foot longer than my arms! of course I stupidly tried it on in front of one of those mirrors out in the open on the storeroom floor, so all the housewives and old retied ladies who happened to be shopping for discount clothing today at 12:05 could watch me embarrass myself with my stumpy arms. they probably thought that I had just taken one of those potions like in the movies where a full-grown person suddenly turns into an infant and his or her clothing pools on the floor, the long sleeves bunched around the tiny infant elbows.

really, I have arms like a tyrannosaurus rex. I couldn’t even reach another sweater I wanted to try on. I tried really hard, and I think the salesgirl saw me struggling and just let me get a cramp, straining for the sweater I could never grasp.

so yeah, no sweater.