Monthly Archives: April 2009

ew ew EW

had a long day? don’t have time to prep a semi-fresh, raw chicken from the grocery store? or, I don’t know, buy a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken? well, then you should try WHOLE CHICKEN IN A CAN.

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click here if you dare to see what this baby looks like once it’s out of the can. I think it looks like starbuck in that episode of battlestar galactica. yeah, you know what I’m talking about, nerd.

for your reading pleasure, I’ve added this lovely list of other disgusting canned foods out there. bon appetit.

awful tattoos

I don’t have a tattoo, but I sure love seeing the horrible, horrible mistakes of others. this one of jesus is pretty awesomely bad.

omg-lol_1392151ifrom this slideshow about bad tattoos. some of them aren’t too awful–I mean, ALF? who wouldn’t want that tattooed onto their bulging bicep?

and what about you, friends? do you have any awesomely bad tattoos of your own? have you ever felt the insane desire to get one? maybe I’ll get one of bea arthur as maude. that would be pretty super.

I love you, bea arthur.

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even while wearing those be-scarved robes in maude, you have always been my hero.

nyt obit here.

bea arthur’s top 5 contributions to pop culture here.

what nerdy birthday cake will I get next year?

so, today is my birthday. and for the last two years, my friends have supplied me with very, very nerdy birthday cakes.

here’s last year’s presidential extravaganza, courtesy of sarah, teresa, monica, jamie, dani, and roz:

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as you can see, it features a lovely photograph of teddy roosevelt and william howard taft.

and this year’s, courtesy of melissa and kristin:

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an avocado green cake, featuring the star trek insignia and a mix-cd with a star trek photo on the cover.

I guess my challenge for this next year is to acquire yet another nerdy interest so that it may be illustrated on my 2010 birthday cake. renaissance fairs? dungeons and dragons? I am open to suggestions.

no eye-contact glasses

tee hee hee. I’d like to wear these all the time.

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bathroom review: dunkin’ donuts

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dunkin’ donuts, 1347 richmond rd., williamsburg, va

I have nothing bad to say about the dunkin’ donuts bathroom. it’s very clean and lovely. not to mention newly renovated. and, it smells like donuts.

also, if you have anything to do on richmond road, I would recommend using this bathroom beforehand, just in case. you never know what might happen. you might just get hit by someone coming out of one of the pancake houses or get stuck in traffic outside the confederate knick-knack store.

rating: 5 stars, bitches

ok, so I’ve reviewed two bathrooms so far and they both happen to be places that specialize in coffee. don’t judge me.

cutting-edge bathroom reviews

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do you have a small bladder, like me?

do you perhaps drink too much coffee, also like me?

do you use public restrooms a lot…ok, like me?

well, you’re in luck. because I am going to start keeping active reviews of all the public bathrooms I use within my limited sphere of movement! I have a book, bathrooms of the berkshires in the works, but while that’s on hold–and should you happen to be in williamsburg– you will know exactly what bathrooms are safe to use! no, no…please, no applause. this is the least I could do to serve my fellow small-bladdered humans.

today’s bathroom: harbour coffee, 4260 Casey Blvd¬†Williamsburg, VA

harbour coffee’s bathroom is nothing special, but it is always very clean. there is a sign on the wall that tells you how to properly wash your hands if you have problems with things like that. roommate melissa says that on her last trip, the toilet paper was rougher than usual, but hopefully that was just a one time thing. on the plus side, I have found that there has always been plenty of soap and they have recently installed a new paper towel dispenser!

rating: 4.5 (out of 5) for the rough toilet paper and slight funhouse quality of the mirror.

update: karen h. has reminded me that there was something on slate yesterday about an iphone app that performed this same bathroom monitoring function. well, I want you to know that I was thinking about this before the iphone was a glimmer in the eye of steve jobs. so there, fools.