scottish adventure

on monday, I’m going to scotland.

I will be spending three days on this.

exciting.

mmm! canned meats!

here’s a lovely selection of vintage canned meat advertisements.

I like this one. the idea of whole, “all-meat weiners” in a can with a complimentary “sack o’ barbecue sauce” just tickles me.

a revelation for tiny-bladdered people everywhere!

omg, I just heard about RunPee, a website that tells you the best time to get up and scamper to the bathroom.

for example, wolverine: “RunPee is approximately 50 minutes into the movie when…Right after Wolverine discovers his new claws in the bathroom.”

AND, to top it all off, the site has brief spoilers to let you know what you’ve missed while you were peeing!

AWESOME!

names I will consider when I become very rich and purchase a professional sports team

• the fighting hobos (the inclusion of “fighting” is absolutely imperative here. it’s so much more FIERCE.)
• the fighting unicorns ( I am picturing a logo somewhere along the lines of lisa frank. perhaps the unicorn would be winking. I don’t know. it’s a possibility.)
• the fighting narwhals (kristin has suggested a mascot that skewers the other team with his or her tusk)
• the fighting historical interpreters (for a team in williamsburg specifically)
• the fighting semi-colons (self-explanatory in its awesomeness)

suggestions? I might just make you a shareholder on my team if I like your name…

blossom v. clarissa

I really liked this post from jezebel taking on the great blossom v. clarissa battle. I was never much of a blossom girl myself, so…

clarissa definitely wins.

I mean, she was so cool! looking back, I can see how young liz’s decorating style was influenced by clarissa’s awesome digs. and remember her totally sweet computer programs and elvis the alligator and all those doc martens?

na-na-nananana…JUST DO IT!

skeleton fiiiiiight!

this still gives me the creeps.

joy of cooking recipes that sound disgusting, part 1

jellied clam juice ring

8 servings

->please read about gelatin, page 516.

dilute:
clam juice or minced clams
with:
water or vegetable juices
to make a palatable mixture. there should be 4 cups of liquid. season this with:
lemon juice and paprika
a few drops of worcester sauce
soak:
2 tablespoons gelatin
in 1/2 cup of the liquid.
heat just to the boiling point 1 cup of the liquid. dissolve the soaked gelatin in it. return it to the remaining liquid with the minced clams if they were used. pour in a wet 9-inch ring mold. chill until firm. invert  the jelly onto a plate. fill the center with:
cottage cheese
surround it with:
tomato and cucumber slices
serve with:
mayonnaise

–the joy of cooking, page 97, 12 ed., 1964

postscript:

you can purchase a case of 12 cans on minced clams on amazon for only $27.51!

my first dictionary

I don’t know about you, but I love learning the alphabet. I’m almost halfway through!

my first dictionary is an awesomely creepy website created by an awesomely twisted librarian where you can learn a new word each day, you little linguist, you!

smokey can really work a tiara

best amazon reviews ever.

“Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.”

more hilarious reviews here.